Grieving

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In order to love and accept our life and those around us as they are, we must learn to grieve what we thought they would be. Without doing that, we will always love our ideals more than we love the actual thing. This does not mean we have to stop wishing for things, for hope is a good thing. In fact, if we do not do this sort of grieving, we will not be able to hope. We will only have depression – the kind that follows when we do not get what we thought we should have. Everyone goes through this kindĀ of disillusionment – mostly in our adulthood (there is a normal developmental idealism that carries us through our youth). Our marriages, our careers and our lives in general undergo this disillusionment and it is totally normal! Maturity is the consistent “surrendering” of our ideals to attempt to love what is, rather than what we hoped would be. Again, the hope is good. Our demands for what we hope are what are dangerous. Read More

The Never-Ending Shed

Life is a continual series of surrenderings. Once you think you have died enough, life and God are back to prune some more. There is more to shed. If you are wise, you will continue to be open and ready for these little deaths. Do not build up your shields against them because then they will just fall harder and faster – it will take more to undo the cozy shelter you have built for yourself. The shelter is that which you have built to protect yourself from what – more abundant life? That for which you have been incessantly searching? Hmm… Read More