grace – Page 2

Goodness Vs. God

February 11, 2019

I talk to a lot of people who are kind of turned off from God. I get it – there are about a thousand reasons not to believe in God and/or not to believe he is good. Things like his “followers” are really bad representatives sometimes. Or religion is sort of stuffy and seems like a bunch of life-sucking rules and rituals. Or because bad things happen. Take your pick – the holocaust, losing your spouse or child, or any of the other various atrocities a human soul can suffer. How can we believe God is good when he allows such suffering? Not to mention many of us have found great beauty and meaning in our lives outside religion or faith. Read More

Toward Wholeness, Not Happiness

February 6, 2019

You might have heard: I’ve stopped trying to be happy. Rather than orienting my life toward reaching some island of happiness I’m not sure exists out there, I think I’ll try to foster something different in my life. I think the best word to describe it is wholeness. Happiness for most of us is based on the prospect of having our “ideal life.” It is a place to which we must travel – a place “out there.” Like I said, I’m not even sure it exists. If it does, it appears and then vanishes out from under you. And it’s conditional on your circumstances – it’s the old “I will be happy if I can just…[fill in the blank].” Wholeness is not conditional or fleeting. It is available in the present – all the time – whether you have your ideal life or not. It doesn’t depend on your circumstances. Healing, grace and hope are available no matter what. And once those things are growing inside you, no one can take them from you. Read More

The Foundational Spiritual Practice Of Surrender

January 23, 2019

One more spiritual practice with which to reckon is the practice of surrender. This may be the most far-reaching and sophisticated part of the spiritual life. It appears there are a million ways we can practice surrender. We can probably be practicing it at all times in all circumstances. Surrender is allowing ourselves to be subject to and even overwhelmed at times by what is happening to us, without wrestling to assert our will on others and our environment. We may think of surrender as “letting go,” letting our guard down, being receptive or just no longer believing in and relying on our own power. It also may be the most difficult of the spiritual exercises. It goes against our normal, natural instincts to stand up for ourselves, fight for our own rights and win. Read More

The Dreaded Black-Or-White Thinking Turned On Ourselves

September 2, 2018

We need to get past our black-or-white thinking. We all learn some version of right and wrong when we are growing up. The problem is many of us get stuck there and never move beyond this type of thinking. I’m not saying there aren’t right and wrong. It’s important to be able to do some critical thinking about things – even ourselves at times, but if you just land on a set of strict rules and apply it in any and every situation, you’re missing the point. First of all, you will consistently be presented with people and situations that challenge your set of rules. That’s one problem. The bigger problem is that you’ll judge yourself and everyone else based on those rules. You’ll spend your life trying to make sure you stay on the “right side of the law,” and condemn people who don’t. Inevitably, that will be you at times. Read More

Transformative Repentance

May 3, 2017

Living in a perpetual state of repentance is the way to change. We are always in brokenness and there is nothing that keeps our hearts tender like saying we’re sorry, turning around and repenting for the things we have done. It is true you make mistakes every day. Why would you not want to live in repentance? The alternative is to not pay attention to the things you are doing wrong or to rationalize and try to convince yourself and others that the things you have done are not that bad. When you put it that way, it seems like there is only one option. Read More

Finding Our Way

August 6, 2016

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Believe it or not, your self-hatred is the vehicle to finding love. This goes against some common wisdom which says you should really learn to see your own value. I mean sure, you have some nice things about you, but as you examine yourself, you will undoubtedly find some things that are lacking – even just by your own standards. It is impossible to produce love in yourself since you try to do so by some standardized merit system: “if you do and are such and such, you’re okay. If not, you’re not.” That type of love is not even really interesting to us. The only way you can truly receive the love we are talking about is to know the Love that loves you despite yourself and despite your sometimes intense hatred of yourself. Do not be afraid of this self-hatred. It will lead you right where you want to go. It’s just sort of an inside-out way to get there. Do an honest appraisal of yourself and find your wretched unworthiness. Then reach for the Love that loves you anyway. Read More

Shame Revisited

June 4, 2016

In all the talk about the dangers of shame, we can start to think it is something that can and should be eradicated altogether. If that were the goal, we might be tempted to think everything we do and are is okay and even great. We all know that is not true. You do some terrible, selfish, unloving things sometimes, and so do I. You are full of imperfections and contradictions. So am I. It would be a positive step to no longer prop up our egos and reach a higher degree of honesty with ourselves. If we are to find true love, it will be through reaching and knowing the depths of our self-hatred, so we can know we are yet still lovable. If you do not know the vastness of your imperfections, how will you know the depth of grace that swallows them all up? Read More

Grace For All

February 26, 2014

Grace is the only real transformative currency. You have probably learned by now that judging, criticizing and shaming people does not really produce great results. It may change people’s behavior, but in the long run, it just produces more and more shame. You shame your kids, then they feel ashamed and shame their kids. The way out is to find grace for yourself, and you will at that same time find it for others. To some of you, this may seem like cheap grace or “letting people off the hook,” but what else is there? I dare you to try it. Are you holding back on receiving grace for yourself? Read More