There are many things that compel us. I would say we are driven from within by our unconscious fears, desires and needs more often than we actually make conscious choices. That is a scary thought – it means we are not actually choosing from our deep and thoughtful selves. We are just slaves to the forces ping-ponging around within us which are trying to ensure our safety, comfort and self-preservation. You are driven to work and do because you want to make sure you earn rank, esteem and reward. You are driven to eat and drink because you want to make sure you are comfortable. You are driven to speak or not speak to avoid loneliness, ridicule or rejection. Or you may be driven by the need to adhere to your moral code or other people’s expectations.

If we take a moment to hold ourselves back from our compulsive drivenness, we will start to discover our deepest selves. This is the value of contemplation and self-denial. If we stop being subject to our constant compulsions, we will discover who we are at our core. We may also discover some different motivations. Instead of acting on our own behalf to stay safe and comfortable, we might discover we have some more meaningful motivations at our core: to love, work for peace and take risks.

The reason we don’t do this is not just to avoid giving up our addictions to TV, coffee, people-pleasing, comfort and alcohol. It is because we fear what is underneath. We fear how powerful we might become if we give up just deadening our senses. We might become more than we ever imagined if we confront our fears and take responsibility for our choices. We are afraid to be ourselves.