God and universe are system. We are constantly interacting with them – with God, one another and the environment around us. The cycles of interaction (feedback loops) between you and all things in your life can largely affect how you feel day-to-day. If you are getting positive feedback from others in your life and your environment, you feel good. This is what we call resonance. It is the feeling you get when you are doing something you were born to do or when you are spending time with someone who just gets you. You feel vitalized and creative. On the other hand, if you are getting negative feedback from others and your environment, you feel stressed, worn out, and maybe even depressed.
Tag: stress
The Good Life = Resilience
Remember your life is not supposed to be stress-free. I think we all have ideals we are dreaming of: “Everything will be great when….” Fill in the blank: “…when I find ‘the one,'” “…when I get a new job,” “…when I retire.” It’s the time when it feels like you’ll just be able to kick up your feet and relax for the rest of your life, when you’ve finally “made it.” I’m not saying we can’t experience good things, but if we count on attaining some version of utopian paradise, we are going to start wondering why all this stress keeps coming at us.
When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, it is easy for us to feel as if God has abandoned us or is punishing us, even though it is clear good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. We sometimes start to feel guilty or as if we need to change course when bad things happen since we think if we are “doing things right,” we should be rewarded! Yet the sun rises on the evil and the good and rain falls on the righteous and unrighteous. Basically, it’s a crapshoot. The fact that bad things are happening to you does not necessarily mean you have done something wrong or you are headed in the wrong direction. It could, but sometimes it means you’re headed in the right direction. I often tell people (usually when they are setting a boundary or trying on some new behavior), “If it’s difficult, you know you’re doing it right!” People don’t usually like that. 🙂
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Freedom In Suffering
I have long been fascinated by and drawn to stories of people who have suffered greatly and yet live free. That’s why my favorite movie is The Shawshank Redemption. I heard once that Nelson Mandela was able to find a sublime level of peace in his soul while imprisoned. You have probably heard similar stories. I have even wished suffering upon myself at times because in suffering, we learn who we truly are and what really matters in life bubbles to the surface. Weird, right?
There Is Enough
So much of our stress must come from this mentality of scarcity, which is borne of the belief that there is not enough. There is never enough time, money, energy, love, so we hunker down and protect what we do have. We have this irritability that springs from the belief that if we do not fiercely guard our space, time, energy and money, someone will come and take them from us. It’s true: people will take what you give them, and there is also this ethic of going the extra mile and forgiveness.
The Overstress
It feels like we live our lives bouncing between these two poles: stress and rest, one necessitating the other until the pendulum swinging bores you into oblivion. Many of us live our lives just at the edge of plunging headlong into fatigue and overexhaustion, until we are forced to rest, whether by nervous breakdown or overdone emotional release.
Growing Up
It is interesting that we spend our children’s lives wishing health and happiness for them. Raising children is basically trying to teach them what to avoid and hoping they don’t mess up when they are a teenager or adult. Then we loose them on the world, watching to see if they will “succeed” or not.