A New Story

Family Photos-147 resized 25 A child who hates himself will act in such a way as to cause you to hate him as well. This is the only safe way he knows to find out if there is something other than hate in the world. He acts this way in order to check and see if there is love for him even when he is at his worst. One of our only jobs with children is to show them that there is something other than the choir of voices that confirm the way they already feel about themselves.

Legacy

I’ve been thinking a little about “legacy” lately, since I am in my 30s and all. And my mom just turned 60 and we are having another little child who is a girl. She is a wonderful gift, but one of the things about having all girls is that your “name” doesn’t get carried on through your own family. I mean there are other little Ybarras which grow up to be big Ybarras and the name will live on, but not from my immediate family. Read More

Attachment

What is called human attachment is really a profound idea. It’s the idea that from day one, we are all seeking connection with others, specifically “higher minds” in order to organize ourselves, feel sure of ourselves and secure.

If you think about it, nearly everything could be seen as attachment behavior. Everything is an attempt to secure our place, know we are safe, feel valued. I just remember thinking as a kid: “If someone could just notice me enough, then I would feel right.” We are built for this sort of seeking out of attention and comfort. And for me, this flows right to spirituality: the only way any of us will feel truly secure is if we find that deeper Force which caused the universe to quicken into existence. Read More