So much of our depression and anxiety occurs because of our constant compulsive behavior. We feel badly and our compulsions crop up to try to help neutralize our pain and help us feel better. It is like our bodies and brains instantly want to heal us, but since these compulsive behaviors have their genesis in our brokenness, they do not help. They only serve to produce more of the feelings we sought to neutralize in the first place and more unwanted behavior is produced.
I wonder what the world would be like if we did not work so hard to avoid everything. So much in our lives exists to help deaden our senses: not only drugs and drink, but electronics and countless other diversions. If we really felt everything there is to feel, I wonder if we would fall apart. The world seems like it would drastically change if we just accepted and encountered the pain of our circumstances head on, as it is. But we do not. We anesthetize in order to avoid feeling too much.
To be human is to be broken and wanting. This keeps us in a perpetual state of needing and seeking. We get hungry, we seek food. We get lonely, we seek connection. We feel empty, we seek fulfillment. We are all addicted to something, and the deficits we experience daily cause us to be seeking our drug: attention, esteem, comfort.
Some anxiety is natural in this realm. When we are away from the One who sustains us, of course there is going to be some anxiety. And when we feel anxious, we immediately begin to seek security in various ways. We seek to have enough money, be esteemed by others, have all of our tasks completed, make sure our loved ones are healthy and safe.