An Open Heart: What to Do When Fear Presents Itself

The world will try to convince you to close your heart – that you should always protect yourself, and avoid pain and emotion and learning and growing. One of our great duties in this life, then, is to approach it with an open heart. Though we know struggle is coming, we must receive it with open eyes and open hearts, and work toward transcendence. Read More

Living in the Economy of Grace

I’m not sure when the phrase “economy of grace” first came into my consciousness[1], but it’s a helpful way of looking at things. The economy of grace is different than the one we are used to – our “economy of merit” – the “reward/punishment, tit-for-tat, pro rata, get what you deserve economy.” Well, actually…you don’t get what you deserve. The sun shines on the righteous and the unrighteous. Grace is this generous way of life which can and should invade all our thoughts, transactions, ways of being and seeing. It is right here in front of us all the time anyway. Read More

Why We Self-Sabotage: Entertaining Our Dark Sides

Ever wonder why we self-sabotage – why we continually return to our bad behavior or have so much trouble doing what we know is right? On the surface, it seems like there is no reason to purposefully do wrong when we know what is right, yet we continue in our self-destruction. This is apparent in our addictions: we are continually drawn to our “vices” which appear to have little redeeming value and obvious negative consequences: smoking, drinking, overeating, drugs, sexual deviance. Sure, there is a chemical basis for these behaviors that makes them sensually rewarding, but it seems like a lot of times, the attraction is more than that. It seems like we return to these sorts of behaviors simply because we are drawn to “being bad.” And it’s not just true with addiction. All of us, with no good reason, continue to do bad things, seeking them out despite known negative consequences. We can all but destroy our lives to satisfy our attraction to our darkest impulses. It’s as common as going to the bathroom. Read More

I’ve Stopped Trying To Be Happy

I have stopped trying to be happy. For a while, I thought it might be possible, but now I believe something different. There was a point three years ago when my grandmother died and I realized the rest of my life was going to be a series of losses leading up to my own death. Then my family and I lost a few more people before their time and a series of other unfortunate events ensued. It was the most difficult time of my life (still is), but I have also found a lot of meaning in it. One of the things that has changed is that I no longer believe being happy is the singular goal. I mean I don’t mind being happy and know that I will be happy sometimes without even trying, but I just mean I’ve given up on happiness as the point of life. Read More

The Foundational Spiritual Practice Of Surrender

One more spiritual practice with which to reckon is the practice of surrender. This may be the most far-reaching and sophisticated part of the spiritual life. It appears there are a million ways we can practice surrender. We can probably be practicing it at all times in all circumstances. Surrender is allowing ourselves to be subject to and even overwhelmed at times by what is happening to us, without wrestling to assert our will on others and our environment. We may think of surrender as “letting go,” letting our guard down, being receptive or just no longer believing in and relying on our own power. It also may be the most difficult of the spiritual exercises. It goes against our normal, natural instincts to stand up for ourselves, fight for our own rights and win. Read More

The Foundational Spiritual Practice Of Receptivity

As I outline some foundational spiritual practices, I think it is important to note that I tend to approach the spiritual life from an utilitarian perspective. Rather than attaching myself to specific prescribed rituals from specific traditions, I try to abstract the meaning and essence from some common spiritual practices and reduce them down to their most translatable forms. I believe spiritual practices should be repeatable and customizable to many different lifestyles – not prescribed, rigid or ritualistic. To me, a successful teacher conveys “the idea” and allows the student to find ways to apply it in various settings. Therefore, the ideas and concepts to which I continually return are general practices which are hopefully adaptable to diverse lifestyles and traditions, even to people of different faiths or who do not subscribe to a particular faith at all. Read More

The Unavoidable Dichotomy Of Life And Death

We must accept life as it is – with the good and the bad.  Think about it – just embracing life itself means you are also embracing the fact that you will some day lose your life. Life is I guess about an even split between great pleasure and gut-wrenching loss. You win some and you lose some. I know, I know – you did not choose to be subject to this dichotomy – you were thrust into this life. “Get busy living or get busy dying.” Maybe you are doing both. Read More

Growth through Connection

The only real way to grow is through connection. Sometimes we think we need to pressure, prod, or push growth by telling people what to do or making a plan to which they must adhere. The only real growth in the natural world around us, though, is through cells connecting with one another. There is no real laid out plan for how plants should grow (except maybe their DNA – the plans are encoded within), and there is not someone there demanding they straighten themselves up and reach out further toward the sun. The cells just come together and through some magical interaction, plants grow. Read More