In order to truly love someone else, you must surrender your rigid beliefs about what you yourself “should be”. Most of us travel around with these inner archetypes by which we judge ourselves and others lovable or unlovable. As long as you are holding onto yours and hoping that you measure up, you will also use it to deem others valuable or not. Our deepest fear and dilemma is that we do not even measure up  to our own created archetypes. The gift is to know that although we do not measure up, the measure is not needed. We do not even need to judge ourselves. We are valuable only because we belong and we are loved.