Remember your life is not supposed to be stress-free. I think we all have ideals we are dreaming of: “Everything will be great when….” Fill in the blank: “…when I find ‘the one,'” “…when I get a new job,” “…when I retire.” It’s the time when it feels like you’ll just be able to kick up your feet and relax for the rest of your life, when you’ve finally “made it.” I’m not saying we can’t experience good things, but if we count on attaining some version of utopian paradise, we are going to start wondering why all this stress keeps coming at us.

If you’re like me, it seems like there are little hills to climb (stressors to overcome) at least weekly if not daily. I am going to suggest another version of the “the good life.” It is based on the idea that our growth and health is not dependent on being in an idyllic place. It is defined by how we confront and overcome the recurrent stressors in our lives. It is also defined by our resilience in the face of pain, not our avoidance of it.

We wonder why some people have it so bad and others seem to lead charmed lives. What we should really spend our time wondering about is how some who seem to have such hard lives are able to have joy and gratitude despite their difficulty. One of my worst fears is that I would do something that would land me in prison for the rest of my life. I have had nightmares about it, but I know if that happened, I would have to figure out how to live a meaningful life inside the walls of that prison. What’s amazing to me is that people have done it! Those are my heroes – the ones who have found meaning in the direst of circumstances. It is instructive for all of us. If they can do it, we can do it – in the exact circumstances we find ourselves today, right now.